The Kleshas & How I Killed My Mac

About an hour before the death of my MacBook Air, I was reading this article about Kleshas, which are part of yoga philosophy that tends to get over-looked in our world of chaturanga’s and headstands.

As I repeatedly – desperately – pressed the power button, praying to the techno-gods that I would see that little Apple logo light up on my screen to let me know that everything was going to be okay, I caught myself and actually giggled out loud a little bit.  My dogs gave me strange looks, and proceeded to enjoy their afternoon naps while I made the decision that I must blog about this horrible event immediately, before I realize the damage I had done.

Let me back up. . .

I’m having an enjoyable morning so far, after waking up wayyyyy to early from a friend’s text who forgot I was 2 hours behind her, making it 4:30am.  Dave was waking up anyways, because his PT today was doing The Incline.  I have never seen him so excited to wake up for PT before.  He sprung out of bed shortly after my 4:30am wake-up text, and I couldn’t fall back asleep.  So, I was up for the day.

Breakfast was eaten, news was watched (which I never do, but falling asleep to the smell of smoke and all of the wildfires out here lately made me eager to know what was going on in my new city), phone meeting was made, and laundry was in progress.  After sufficient Facebook-ing and Pinterest-ing were done, I grudgingly did the dishes and was going to reward myself with a yoga class before I made myself lunch.  Tough life, huh?

Upstairs, I set up my space, with my mat next to the bed, Mac parked at the top of my mat, and blocks and straps nearby.  Whoops, I better get a glass of water!  I set my water off to the right of my computer near the top of my mat, and then go to pull the curtains back so that I can turn off the lights and practice in the sunshine.

I step backwards. . . I hear the clink of glass-meets-keyboard. . . I feel the cool liquid on my heel. . . NNnnoooooooooOOOoOOooo!!!!

It’s silly, really, how attached I am to this piece of technology.  I feel as though I’ve lost everything, when really, it’s going to be okay.

My biggest concerns here are:

1) It cost a lot of money.

              a) I don’t have any money.  I am so broke.  There is no way I can replace it, and I don’t think my     warranty covers dumb water spills.

              b) It wasn’t even MY money.  Remember, I’m kind of spoiled (Vitamix), and this was last year’s Christmas/Hanukkah gift from my parents.  It was between that and a juicer, and I was very happy with my decision, and now that decision won’t turn on and I feel as though I wasted my parents’ money and I feel bad.

2) It has all of my stuff on it!  Documents! Pictures!  Saved stuff!  Passwords I’ll never remember and were saved on the websites! My bookmarks!  There were so many new, cool things I had saved in my bookmarks and now I’ll never remember those mommy blogs or reference sites for my Juice Plus+ stuff!!

3) It was a great laptop. . . small, lightweight, easy to operate, synced easily with all my other Apple products. . . please don’t make me go back to using my HP!  You win, Dad.

My first thoughts were ridiculous.  I shouldn’t have gotten water!  I shouldn’t have been doing yoga!  Ummmm no.  That’s stupid.  Both water and yoga are really good for me.  Better for me than my Mac is, that’s for sure!  That’s when I realized that it was my attachment to this object that was causing my suffering.  HOW SILLY, RIGHT??  But think about it.  Think about the things in  your life that you feel as though you couldn’t live without.  How do you feel when you leave your phone at home accidentally?  Or your battery dies while you’re out, either on your phone, your camera, or some other really important thing that needed to be charged but wasn’t and now you have to do without?  How about sentimental things, like wedding rings, or gifts from Grandma?  Have you ever gotten halfway to work and realized you left your coffee mug (with freshly brewed coffee inside) on the counter at home?  (Dave does this a lot, poor guy.)  If it ruins your day/mood when any of these things happen, then this is attachment, which is one of the Kleshas, or obstacles of our spiritual growth.  Otherwise known as Afflictions.

There are five of them: ignorance (Avidya), egoism (Asmita), attachment (Raga), aversion (Dvesha), and clinging to bodily life (Abhinivesa).  I guarantee you can identify with at least one if not all on an almost daily basis.  Ouch! (You can click on the link to the article I read earlier to learn more about the Kleshas, because she does a great job explaining them in a way that relates to modern life.)

Good thing I read that article which had the following advice on how to deal when Kleshas arise and you find yourself with a soggy MacBook at the top of your yoga mat.  Again, go and read what she wrote, but basically, pay attention and notice if and when you’re exhibiting one of the Kleshas, acknowledge it, allow them to come and go and don’t struggle against them (like writing a blog about my experience instead of crying because I just destroyed a grand worth of technology!), and accept it.  Realize that some day, with some inner work and practicing the above advice, maybe you will be able to float above the struggles and let things slide off your shoulders a little easier.  I love reminding myself of the greatest wisdom from the late Ashtanga yoga founder, Sri K. Pattabhi Jois who is famous for the quote, “Practice and all is coming.”  Like practicing handstand bit-by-bit, day-by-day until one day, maybe, if you’re lucky and have been practicing diligently, you can stick it in the middle of the room, you can practice dealing with life’s everyday struggles such as attachment.  However, just like how you may be able to stick a handstand with ease but one day you might kick up a little too aggressively and fall over, Kleshas can sneak back into your life and cause struggle even after years of attention, acknowledgment, acceptance and allowing.  But, why suffer when you don’t have to just because it might not always work, and why stay upright when you can go upside down just because you might fall?

My Safety Net

I love fruits and vegetables.  I am blessed with a palate that truly enjoys pretty much any fruit or vegetable I try, although I’m pretty sure I haven’t always been like that since most of my memories from when I was younger include chicken fingers and french fries.  However, in my adult life, I am a huge fan.

Until I got pregnant.

Oh man, I had it bad.  I thought pregnancy was all about cravings and eating for two, but boy was I wrong.  For the first three months of growing a human being, I couldn’t stomach anything.  Nothing sounded good, ESPECIALLY anything remotely healthy.  I was freaking out, because I had this idea in my head that I would be even more conscious of what I was putting in my body in this delicate time, but unless it was some combination of bread and cheese, it wasn’t happening.  I crossed my fingers that my prenatal vitamins would make up for my lack of good nutrition while I made my third grilled cheese sandwich of the day – the only thing I had been able to eat – and tried not to imagine my baby being formed out of two slices of bread and some cheese.  For a health nerd like me, this was pretty devastating.  I missed green smoothies and crunchy salads.  I missed snacking on apples and blueberries and cucumbers.  I missed feeling good and healthy and strong!  I did not feel good, or healthy, or strong.

One day near the end of my first trimester I had coffee -well, peppermint tea in my case, thanks to the constant nausea – with a friend, and we met up with her other friend who she had been wanting me to meet for a while.  We chatted about our husbands and where we had grown up and where the military had moved us (and would be moving us), and our families.  We soon realized that we were both pretty nerdy when it came to health and wellness, and I told her about how my first trimester was such a struggle because I felt anything but healthy and well!  I told her how much I missed fruits and vegetables, and she whipped out a little package of gummies that were made from the juice of whole fruits and vegetables.  I gobbled them up, and demanded that she go through her entire Juice Plus+ Wellness Presentation right then and there in the coffee shop.  I needed to know everything about it and how I could get this product into my body yesterday.

Now, I am quick to jump on many wellness trends – CrossFit, paleo, barefoot running, green smoothies, etc, etc. . . . however, I’m not big on vitamins and supplements claiming to have magical healing powers.  I took fish oil half-heartedly for a while, but much preferred getting my omega 3’s from my mom’s grilled salmon or some flax seeds mixed into my morning oats or smoothie.  Even protein powder made me wary, due to so much other crap being on the ingredients list.  Some eggs, chicken, fish, or nuts seemed like a much better way to get protein into my body than drinking a chocolate flavored powder drink.  I learned in my college nutrition classes that you end up urinating out most of the stuff that comes in your supplements, because the body simply can’t absorb and use it in that form.  What a waste of money!  So, when I first heard about these capsules of fruits and vegetables, I was initially turned off and resumed my normal “just eat real food” thinking.  Thankfully, I kept listening.

By the end of our conversation, I not only wanted Juice Plus+ in my body, but I wanted to share it with everyone I knew, especially those who were sick, or had been sick, or might end up sick if they don’t start taking care of their health through proper nutrition.  Even those who strive to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, but are either stuck in a rut and lacking variety or maybe just go through periods of time where nutrition falls to the wayside – I’ve sure been there!  That’s all it is, a safety net.  It’s so you can consume the nutrients from kale and beets whether you eat them daily or not, or to make up for those times when you might be sick, or traveling, and fruits and vegetables are hard to come by.  It’s not a free pass to eat like crap as long as you take this magic pill, which is what I like about JP+ and the company.  It promotes healthy living all around.  We even have another product called the Tower Garden where you can grow your own fruits and vegetables so that there is no excuse NOT to eat them!  I’ve even noticed that I tend to WANT more fruits and vegetables when I’m taking my JP+, sort of like when you start eating junk food and all of a sudden you are craving more junk food, except the opposite.

I could go on and on about the research, and the way the product is made, and about how phytonutrients are so much better for you than the isolated vitamins and minerals from supplements, and how JP+ has been proven to be bioavailable and actually do what it claims to do in the body, but I would rather you come to a presentation yourself.  Mostly, because I am hosting two webinars coming up, and I don’t want it to just be me and my mom. . . . Kidding, kind of.  It’s because if you read this blog, you probably care about your health in one way or another, and I think that this information would be really interesting to you.  Everyone knows that fruits and vegetables are important for good health, but do you really know and understand why?  This presentation isn’t about selling a product, it’s about explaining the how’s and why’s of the preventative health and healing powers of fruits and vegetables.

So, if you’d like more information or would like to attend an event either in person or online (fancy, fancy!), please let me know.  The upcoming Wellness Webinars will be this Sunday afternoon and Tuesday, although the times are not yet set in stone.

Please “come”, I’d love to “see” you.

Be Well,

Namaste 🙂

As Long As I’m On My Mat

Thirteen days.  That’s how many nights we stayed in hotels, living out of our suitcases and whatever was in my truck while the rest of our belongings remained locked up in the moving truck.  Two (and a half!) humans and two dogs, one suitcase, one duffel bag, one laundry basket filled with a random assortment of shower stuff, hoodies, towels, and water bottles, and a yoga mat.

Thank goodness for that yoga mat. . .

Surprisingly, I felt pretty great throughout the trip from North Carolina to Colorado.  I was worried about having to drive, since usually Dave takes the wheel for the majority of our trips up and down the East Coast.  He actually likes driving long distances.  I don’t mind it either, but I much prefer to have my feet on the dash, knitting needles in hand, and a neck pillow for naps whenever I feel like it.  This trip, however, Dave had to drive the big moving truck towing the Jeep while I drove my truck with the dogs in the back seat.  But, it wasn’t so bad.  Before the trip, my midwife advised me to stop every hour to stretch my legs and to drink plenty of water, which were both easy to do because being 7 months pregnant, my bladder encouraged me to stop every time I saw that blue rest area sign from the highway.  The dogs were motivation to stop as well, seeing as though we’d be on the road for about 4 days and they were used to daily hour long walks and lots of yard-playing time.  So, we stopped plenty, and while Dave played catch with the dogs at the stops that had nice, big, open fields, I used that time to get in a few downward facing dogs and standing pigeon variations – not really caring how silly it might look to passerby’s.  It felt GOOOOOOODDD.

Once we got to Colorado Springs, our new home, we were still hotel-bound until our house was ready for us to move in to.  To pass the time and keep the dogs happy (as well as explore this amazing mountain city) we went on a new hike almost every day!  Both the excessive movement and the stress of the unknown and the in-between called for plenty of hotel yoga sessions.  Again, thank goodness for that yoga mat!   Since I had no internet besides my smartphone, my practice looked something like this:

Put Krishna Das Pandora on phone

Easy seat with pillow under tailbone with palms facing down for grounding – I needed that badly.  Deep breaths in and out.  Start moving when all of the “I wonder where we’ll put the couch” and “I wonder how far the closest yoga studio will be” and “I need to stop spending so much money” stopped crowding my overwhemled, over-excited mind.

Side bends, neck circles, trunk circles, wrist circles – basically move anything that aches a little.

Move into Table and do some cat/cow stretches, then get creative and move the spine however felt good at the time – side to side, circular, combination of all of those movements in a way that I probably looked possessed by the devil or a belly dancer on hands and knees.  Whatever, it felt good and I needed it.

Down dog – aaaahhhhhhhhh 🙂 Stretch out the calves, go high up onto toes and stretch the feet, sway hips side to side.  Feels.  So.  Good.

Walk feet up (and out – belly’s getting in the way!) to hands, then place hands on two bottles of water (didn’t have blocks, had to get creative) and stretch tailbone way back and chest way forward for awesome hamstring stretch otherwise known as preggo-Uttanasana.  Stand all the way up – check to make sure not dizzy from altitude – one hand on heart, one over baby D kicking up a storm in my belly (he either loves or hates yoga because he’s always moving when I practice) and breathe for a few.

Few modified Sun Salutations – I miss jumping up and back and getting really deep into upward facing dog, but I have my whole life to do those things.  For now, Sun Sal’s include Chaturanga’s from my knees and plenty of Child’s poses.

Low lunge with both hands on the inside so belly has room.  Maybe a little twist.  Maybe grab the back foot for a quad stretch.  Definitely some hip circles and then straighten front leg for a nice big hamstring opener.  Yes.

Warrior I.  Shorter stance than usual due to some round ligament pain, but I’ll take it.  I’ll either do Eagle arms, Gomukasana arms, or simply interlace my fingers behind me for a shoulder/chest opener here.  I’ve been told to keep the upper back and shoulders in good form now, because when I’m breastfeeding and holding the baby all of the time these areas are going to get TIGHT!

Warrior II.  Reverse Warrior to Side Angle, back and forth, back and forth.  This makes me feel strong and graceful at the same time, which is something I haven’t been feeling much throughout this pregnancy.  Also, it feels REALLY good to stretch the side body.

Triangle.  One of my favorites, pregnant or not.  Sometimes I’ll go into Half Moon from here, if I’m feeling stable enough.

Goddess Pose – another one that makes me feel really strong.  I’ve also heard this is good for positioning the baby.  To keep my mind off my burning legs, I’ll do one of those arm stretches that I mentioned in Warrior I that I hadn’t done yet. 

Wide-legged Forward Fold with arms way out in front so it is more like a wide-legged downward facing dog than anything.  It’s nice to hang out upside down for a while, since I haven’t been practicing inversions too much.  It’s not that I think that it’s going to make my baby turn upside down or that I’m scared to fall, it just hasn’t felt good while pregnant so why do it?  I’ll just hang out here in this downdog/forward fold combo pose.

Sometimes I’ll balance in tree or dancer.  I try to fit a squat in there, too.  Sometimes I’ll do some other variations from Warrior I or II, but generally I’ll just go to the floor from here.

PIGEON!  Hell yeah.  The best.  There’s usually pillows stuffed under hips and one in front of me to hug while I chill out there for a bit.

Bound-Angle with heels way out in front.  I hardly come down at all, but it still feels great.

Wide-legged forward fold on the ground.  This is one of my favorites since being pregnant!  I don’t know why, but I love it, and I need it daily.  I’ll usually stack pillows in front of me and rest there for a while.  I should really invest in some bolsters. . . .

Some sort of seated twist here.  Gentle, of course.  No squishing baby D!  Then I’ll sit for a bit in easy seat, with one hand on my heart and one on my belly, feeling the kicks and turns and hiccups, and reflecting on how good I feel now that I’ve practiced and why it’s so important for me to get on my mat every single day.

Savasana that looks much more like “sleeping on my side snuggling with 5 pillows”.  I’ll take it!

When the pups come over and start licking my feet and/or face, I’ll slowly get up, turn Krishna Das off, roll up my mat, and give myself a pat on the back for practicing.  Go me.

As soon as the Comcast guy left after hooking up our internet, I unrolled my mat in the huge master bedroom next to the window that overlooks our backyard so the breeze was coming in.  I placed my Mac in front of my mat, logged into my YogaGlo account, picked a new prenatal class with Stephanie Snyder, and did a 45 minute practice.  Today I plan on checking out a prenatal class at this baby store nearby that sells wraps and diapers and other fun crunchy baby things.

My practice is needed more than ever when I’m in a state of change, whether that change be a trip (vacation or otherwise), a move across the country, the physical change of starting up a new activity that might leave you sore or just changing the intensity of that new activity, or the physical change of growing a baby!  Or, in my case, all of the above.  It helps to ground me when I’m feeling misplaced, and it helps to uplift me when I’m feeling bogged down and stressed.  It always reminds me that I’m exactly where I need to be, as long as I’m on my mat.