If you were to describe yourself to someone who didn’t know you, what would you say?
Would you describe the way you look? Height, weight, hair color, eye color, ethnicity, or maybe even the kind of clothes you typically wear?
Would you tell them your likes and dislikes, which political party you vote for, what hobbies you have, or the kind of books you like to read?
Do you tell them about your friends and family members, or experiences you’ve had like where you have traveled, or who you have gained or lost throughout your life?
How about what you are passionate about, what you do for a living, what your favorite color is, or what foods you like to eat?
What about your tendencies, such as being a jealous person, a compassionate person, an over-achiever, or anxious, stubborn, laid-back, or perhaps a “neat freak”?
At the last teacher training we were learning about the first three chakras, and there was a lot of introspection taking place within the group. We were discovering where we felt off in our own energies, and how to create and maintain balance through various asanas, meditations, breathing exercises, and other activities. I love this stuff, because it makes so much sense to me and I can definitely see how it works in my body and in my life. When I hear a sad story, my hand immediately flies to my chest – my heart chakra. Whenever I get “too in my head”, going for a walk or run help to ground me, or balance my root chakra. During pregnancy, I felt like I couldn’t tap into any creativity to write, but what was actually happening was that all of my creative energy was being used up in baby-growing (which happens right at the sacral chakra, which, when balanced, has to do with creativity!) Is your mind blown yet?
Anyways, chakra study is really neat stuff, but what I found really interesting was to hear my fellow trainees (myself included) chime in with their own stories of what makes them who they are and why. The anxious mother, the analytical doctor, the creative healer. . . .who was I? What adjective do I belong to? I thought about this throughout the weekend. I can be anxious, but I can also be very laid-back. I can be creative, but I can also be logical. I can be giving and compassionate, but I can also be greedy and jealous. I can be disciplined, and I can be lazy.
Can’t we all, though? Everyone goes through these shifts in life. Everyone. We just attach ourselves to the side we notice or experience more, and then we feed into the idea of being that way and soon others see us in that way as well. This can be a good thing, if it’s a positive trait and it’s kept fairly balanced (like being compassionate can be wonderful, unless it’s sucking the life out of you to feel everyone’s pain, or being disciplined is great unless you can’t chill out when you really need to). However, it reminds me of children in school who are told by one teacher, or have repeatedly poor grades in one subject, and then cling to the idea that they are not good at that subject, or they are not smart, or even the opposite could be true, and both could do more harm than good.
How can clinging to “your story” keep you from growing? Think about a personality trait, maybe one I have already mentioned, and notice your reaction to it. Are you proud of it? Do you resent it? Do you wish it were different? Do you hope you always embody it?
We’re constantly changing. We grow older, we learn new things, our schedules change, our lifestyles change. These changes can really affect these deeply ingrained ideas we have about ourselves, and clinging to them doesn’t help. So, notice what you cling to. Notice what you associate yourself with, and ask yourself if that “story” serves you, or how authentic this idea of yourself really is. I want to believe I’m still the disciplined young adult who could get up at 5am, teach middle school kids all day, hop in the car and head straight to field hockey practice to coach high school girls for a couple of hours, and still find the energy to workout, eat well, and maintain a social life as well as a romantic relationship. Nope, not me anymore. Right now, I’m lucky if I can wash, fold and put away laundry all in the same day. But, I won’t hang out too tightly to the “who I was” and “who I am” idea, because neither serve me and help me to be the best version of myself today.
I hope that after reading this you make a mental note to check yourself whenever you attach a story to your personality. It could be a good story, or it could be a bad story, but being mindful of the story is the important part.
Namaste, friends
YOGA with MINDY 