Letting Go with the Honey Moon

Every once in a while, I get into such a funk.  I notice my thoughts turning on me – being negative, fearful, judgmental, doubting, and just overall self-destructive.  I am constantly oscillating between wanting to do great things, bust out of my comfort zone, challenge myself and put myself out there, and then in a snap of a finger I just want to throw my phone into a lake and lock myself inside to bake cookies and read nonfiction novels – safe things.

There’s usually a reason for why the funk creeps in.  It’s usually in the form of not taking care of myself in some way, whether it be lack of movement, lack of green things being consumed, lack of SLEEP . . . . .or letting things I can’t control stress me out, feeling out of control financially, or letting my house cross the line from messy to filthy (messy I can live with).  This time, I know there are plenty of other factors that play into it, but with all of the talk of the Honey Moon, the full moon that would fall on Friday the 13th for the first time in about 100 years, I figured that could have something to do with feeling kind of out of whack, too.

I always read about how to use the moon cycles to help you let go or set intention to move forward.  I always think about incorporating them into my classes, or into my personal meditation, and then I look at the calendar and see that I’ve missed it. . . damn. . . .next time. . . seriously, next time.

Well, this time I couldn’t forget.  It was all over Facebook, it was a gorgeous, clear night here in Colorado, and I had some SERIOUS letting go to do.

 

So, I wrote the things I wanted to let go of on sticks.

Once the kid was fast asleep, we lit a bonfire in the backyard, under the gorgeous, bright, full, Honey Moon.

Then, I tossed each stick into the fire, mindfully, and with intention.

 

I woke up today feeling a little lighter.  I can’t say that I’ll never experience stress or negativity or fear ever again, but when I notice myself heading in that direction, I can be mindful of those feelings because I made a point to get rid of those things, so I’m more likely to notice them when they creep back in.

It reminds me of weeding.  Yesterday, I spent an entire nap time pulling weeds from the front yard.  It seems like I never really notice the weeds until they are out of control, OR, unless I had just recently spent a huge chunk of time, energy, and intention to get rid of them.  I swear, when I opened the shades this morning, I could see weeds where I had JUST picked!  I am sure that when I go out to my car to head to my class this morning, I’ll spend a couple of seconds to reach down and pull those weeds up, simply because I noticed them before they could get out of control.

You still have time to use the energy of the full moon to let go of some junk you don’t want to allow to creep in.  You don’t even need a bonfire.  You could simply write the words down on  a piece of paper and tear it up (or burn it, if you are a little pyro like me ;P).  You could even just contemplate the words during mediation, and imagine yourself breathing those things out of your consciousness.  I usually don’t like to meditate on things that I don’t want, because I truly believe in the Law of Attraction, so I prefer the bonfire approach – a more physical “letting go” activity.  But, if meditation is your thing, give it a try.

And since you probably already have it stuck in your head, go ahead. . . .

“Let it go, let it go,
Can’t hold it back anymore.
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door!”

(from the movie Frozen, of course. . . )

As Long As I’m On My Mat

Thirteen days.  That’s how many nights we stayed in hotels, living out of our suitcases and whatever was in my truck while the rest of our belongings remained locked up in the moving truck.  Two (and a half!) humans and two dogs, one suitcase, one duffel bag, one laundry basket filled with a random assortment of shower stuff, hoodies, towels, and water bottles, and a yoga mat.

Thank goodness for that yoga mat. . .

Surprisingly, I felt pretty great throughout the trip from North Carolina to Colorado.  I was worried about having to drive, since usually Dave takes the wheel for the majority of our trips up and down the East Coast.  He actually likes driving long distances.  I don’t mind it either, but I much prefer to have my feet on the dash, knitting needles in hand, and a neck pillow for naps whenever I feel like it.  This trip, however, Dave had to drive the big moving truck towing the Jeep while I drove my truck with the dogs in the back seat.  But, it wasn’t so bad.  Before the trip, my midwife advised me to stop every hour to stretch my legs and to drink plenty of water, which were both easy to do because being 7 months pregnant, my bladder encouraged me to stop every time I saw that blue rest area sign from the highway.  The dogs were motivation to stop as well, seeing as though we’d be on the road for about 4 days and they were used to daily hour long walks and lots of yard-playing time.  So, we stopped plenty, and while Dave played catch with the dogs at the stops that had nice, big, open fields, I used that time to get in a few downward facing dogs and standing pigeon variations – not really caring how silly it might look to passerby’s.  It felt GOOOOOOODDD.

Once we got to Colorado Springs, our new home, we were still hotel-bound until our house was ready for us to move in to.  To pass the time and keep the dogs happy (as well as explore this amazing mountain city) we went on a new hike almost every day!  Both the excessive movement and the stress of the unknown and the in-between called for plenty of hotel yoga sessions.  Again, thank goodness for that yoga mat!   Since I had no internet besides my smartphone, my practice looked something like this:

Put Krishna Das Pandora on phone

Easy seat with pillow under tailbone with palms facing down for grounding – I needed that badly.  Deep breaths in and out.  Start moving when all of the “I wonder where we’ll put the couch” and “I wonder how far the closest yoga studio will be” and “I need to stop spending so much money” stopped crowding my overwhemled, over-excited mind.

Side bends, neck circles, trunk circles, wrist circles – basically move anything that aches a little.

Move into Table and do some cat/cow stretches, then get creative and move the spine however felt good at the time – side to side, circular, combination of all of those movements in a way that I probably looked possessed by the devil or a belly dancer on hands and knees.  Whatever, it felt good and I needed it.

Down dog – aaaahhhhhhhhh 🙂 Stretch out the calves, go high up onto toes and stretch the feet, sway hips side to side.  Feels.  So.  Good.

Walk feet up (and out – belly’s getting in the way!) to hands, then place hands on two bottles of water (didn’t have blocks, had to get creative) and stretch tailbone way back and chest way forward for awesome hamstring stretch otherwise known as preggo-Uttanasana.  Stand all the way up – check to make sure not dizzy from altitude – one hand on heart, one over baby D kicking up a storm in my belly (he either loves or hates yoga because he’s always moving when I practice) and breathe for a few.

Few modified Sun Salutations – I miss jumping up and back and getting really deep into upward facing dog, but I have my whole life to do those things.  For now, Sun Sal’s include Chaturanga’s from my knees and plenty of Child’s poses.

Low lunge with both hands on the inside so belly has room.  Maybe a little twist.  Maybe grab the back foot for a quad stretch.  Definitely some hip circles and then straighten front leg for a nice big hamstring opener.  Yes.

Warrior I.  Shorter stance than usual due to some round ligament pain, but I’ll take it.  I’ll either do Eagle arms, Gomukasana arms, or simply interlace my fingers behind me for a shoulder/chest opener here.  I’ve been told to keep the upper back and shoulders in good form now, because when I’m breastfeeding and holding the baby all of the time these areas are going to get TIGHT!

Warrior II.  Reverse Warrior to Side Angle, back and forth, back and forth.  This makes me feel strong and graceful at the same time, which is something I haven’t been feeling much throughout this pregnancy.  Also, it feels REALLY good to stretch the side body.

Triangle.  One of my favorites, pregnant or not.  Sometimes I’ll go into Half Moon from here, if I’m feeling stable enough.

Goddess Pose – another one that makes me feel really strong.  I’ve also heard this is good for positioning the baby.  To keep my mind off my burning legs, I’ll do one of those arm stretches that I mentioned in Warrior I that I hadn’t done yet. 

Wide-legged Forward Fold with arms way out in front so it is more like a wide-legged downward facing dog than anything.  It’s nice to hang out upside down for a while, since I haven’t been practicing inversions too much.  It’s not that I think that it’s going to make my baby turn upside down or that I’m scared to fall, it just hasn’t felt good while pregnant so why do it?  I’ll just hang out here in this downdog/forward fold combo pose.

Sometimes I’ll balance in tree or dancer.  I try to fit a squat in there, too.  Sometimes I’ll do some other variations from Warrior I or II, but generally I’ll just go to the floor from here.

PIGEON!  Hell yeah.  The best.  There’s usually pillows stuffed under hips and one in front of me to hug while I chill out there for a bit.

Bound-Angle with heels way out in front.  I hardly come down at all, but it still feels great.

Wide-legged forward fold on the ground.  This is one of my favorites since being pregnant!  I don’t know why, but I love it, and I need it daily.  I’ll usually stack pillows in front of me and rest there for a while.  I should really invest in some bolsters. . . .

Some sort of seated twist here.  Gentle, of course.  No squishing baby D!  Then I’ll sit for a bit in easy seat, with one hand on my heart and one on my belly, feeling the kicks and turns and hiccups, and reflecting on how good I feel now that I’ve practiced and why it’s so important for me to get on my mat every single day.

Savasana that looks much more like “sleeping on my side snuggling with 5 pillows”.  I’ll take it!

When the pups come over and start licking my feet and/or face, I’ll slowly get up, turn Krishna Das off, roll up my mat, and give myself a pat on the back for practicing.  Go me.

As soon as the Comcast guy left after hooking up our internet, I unrolled my mat in the huge master bedroom next to the window that overlooks our backyard so the breeze was coming in.  I placed my Mac in front of my mat, logged into my YogaGlo account, picked a new prenatal class with Stephanie Snyder, and did a 45 minute practice.  Today I plan on checking out a prenatal class at this baby store nearby that sells wraps and diapers and other fun crunchy baby things.

My practice is needed more than ever when I’m in a state of change, whether that change be a trip (vacation or otherwise), a move across the country, the physical change of starting up a new activity that might leave you sore or just changing the intensity of that new activity, or the physical change of growing a baby!  Or, in my case, all of the above.  It helps to ground me when I’m feeling misplaced, and it helps to uplift me when I’m feeling bogged down and stressed.  It always reminds me that I’m exactly where I need to be, as long as I’m on my mat.

And so. . .The Adventure Begins

I miss this.

I let my domain name expire and have gone back to the old school blog.  The one I started right before this whole adventure began.  The one I still can’t figure out how to tag and add widgets to.  The one that doesn’t cost any money to maintain or make me feel pressured to understand SEO or any other social media terminology.

Ah, it feels good to be back to the green screen with the goofy smiles of my husband and his buddies at my all-dudes yoga class a few years back at the boxing gym in my hometown.

I guess I’m just looking for some kind of grounding, constant thing that I can rely on while everything is changing on me – my body, my location, my roles, my routines, my jobs.  When I stopped blogging 6 months ago, it was because I’m a horrible secret keeper, and I had too many secrets to keep.  There was too much on my mind that writing about green smoothies and yoga poses would somehow include hints about the baby I was secretly growing in my belly, and the potential move across the country that we had no idea we’d be making a year ago, and even 6 months ago weren’t really sure what we’d be doing and where.  It was just easier not to let my fingers touch the keypad at all.

I wanted to, though.  I had so many ideas about what to write about while I was struggling through morning sickness and falling asleep and/or snacking on my mat rather than practicing (but then discovering how amazing it felt when I actually had the energy/stomach to flow through some poses.  It was comical how drastic my diet changed due to my inability to stomach anything that didn’t have ketchup on it, so when I discovered Juice Plus+ I wanted to shout it from the rooftops I was so happy to be getting the nutrition from fruits and vegetables again!  When I started feeling great on the inside, but lousy when I looked at the scale or in the mirror at my changing body that did/does NOT look like the cute little basketball-bellied friends of mine, I wanted to share my internal battle with body image and self confidence.  I saw a chiropractor for the first time ever, whose adjustments helped my round ligament pain and an old rugby neck injury tremendously, and I wanted you to know!  My friends and family laugh at how calm and relaxed I am when we have 5 days to pack up our house, 3 days to drive across the country (6 months pregnant, with two dogs), and hopefully find a place to live sometime shortly after that.  I want to share my strategy for not letting the stress of our situation get to me, because I’m not quite sure how long my ignorant bliss will last!

Basically. . . . I’m back. . . . and I hope you are, too 🙂

It’s about time for another adventure. . . .

Studio vs. Home Practice

I love yoga.  In fact, I even wrote yoga a thank you note after a much-needed class recently.  It went something like this:

Dear Yoga,

Thank you. . .

Always & forever,
Mindy

and it got 9 “likes” on my Facebook page, so clearly others feel the same way.

The class that inspired the note was on a day that was particularly stressful.  Now, I lead a pretty chill life, and despite the fact that my husband is in Afghanistan, I don’t really have much to be stressed about.  However, sometimes things creep up, and sometimes I take on the stress of others around me more so than I should allow, so that day I found myself a little too wound up, clutter-brained, and negative, which are all feelings I don’t do too well with.  Usually, when I find myself in that state, the last thing I want to do is yoga.  I know, I know, most people go to yoga primarily for the stress reduction aspect of it, but I find that a long run, a boxing class, or a really tough WOD clear my mind more efficiently than a yoga class does.

Or so I had thought!

I had been dealing with a lot of stress this past winter, with the upcoming deployment plus the unknown of where I’d be and when over the next few months, year, two years. . . . and I was stressed because I didn’t have a good outlet.  I wasn’t running much because I was having some funky foot pain, and I wasn’t doing much CrossFit because I was working at the gym and teaching yoga there, so any other time I had, I didn’t really want to be at the gym!  I was trying to keep up with my home yoga practice, but I would find that I wouldn’t find my flow, I would get distracted, or I would find another reason to stop.

The dogs need to go out,

I should make more almond butter,

My internet connection is slow so the streamed class is freezing and it’s not helping me get zen,

I’m hungry/thirsty/hot/cold/bored/etc.,

Dave’s home, I should spend as much time with him as I can before he leaves,

Is that dust under the table? I should probably clean my whole house instead of do this,

I don’t like this teacher/class/DVD/website,

I don’t like thinking up my own practice,

I wish this room was heated,

. . . . and last but not least, I wouldn’t like where my mind would go sometimes when it would be working toward getting quiet.  All of my thoughts that I would push down all day long – my fears, my worries, my stress – they would all of a sudden come to the forefront of my consciousness and they were uncomfortable to confront.

So, I bailed on my home practice.

Once or twice I did make the trek to a studio that was over a half hour away from me, because it had heat, an instructor, and a community of fellow yogis.

It made a world of difference. . .

Now that I am up north, I have had more convenient opportunities to practice in studios, and I don’t know if it is the sweat, the group environment, or having an instructor right there leading you through a class, but I am completely able to drop in and receive all of the awesomeness that is a yoga class.  I would chose a studio class over a home practice ANY day.

However, there are many benefits to a home practice, and some may do better on their own than in a class environment.  Here are a few examples of someone who might want to give a home practice a try.

-Do you push yourself beyond limitations to “show off” or just because you are inspired by the group setting? To be honest, I’m a sucker for this is in any other setting, but for some reason I do alright in a yoga class.  Maybe it’s because yoga for me is to heal my body from the beat-downs I give it elsewhere, but I don’t feel the need to push or compete in yoga.  In CrossFit on the other hand, I need to learn how to listen to my body better, and not worry about how much weight is on the other girl’s bar.  If you can’t help but glance at the person on the mat next to you and if she’s standing on her head, you bet your butt you’re going to give it a try. . .a home practice might be a safer environment, because you won’t feel that need to go above and beyond and potentially hurt yourself.

-Are you a dude? Sometimes, guys don’t feel comfortable in a class setting because they might be the only guy, or they are worried about how much they are sweating, or the teacher might be super cute and they don’t want them touching their sweaty, smelly feet.  If THAT is what is holding you back from taking a yoga class, PLEASE try some home practices, because you shouldn’t feel intimidated by yoga just because of the people around you.  However, once you feel comfortable, please come take a yoga class at a studio.  Guys doing yoga makes me so happy, and as an instructor, I promise you that no one cares how sweaty you are, or will think any less of you because you can’t touch your toes.

-Is there something you hate about typical yoga studios, such as the music, incense, chanting, being touched/adjusted, hearing other people’s loud breathing, etc.?  Maybe incense give you a headache, or the music distracts you, or maybe you’ve had a bad experience where you passed gas in class, or fell onto your neighbor trying to do a headstand.  At home, you can be as flatulent as you want, and topple over without fear of injuring anyone around you.  You can also chose your own tunes, light your own candles, Om or not Om.  You can make up your own practice, watch your favorite DVD, or maybe stream an online class where you can pick from a 15-minute slow flow to a 90-minute challenging sequence.  Maybe you just want to meditate, or lay down with your legs up the wall for 20 minutes?  With a home practice, you have more freedom. 

Now, at different times of my life, a home practice has been wonderful.  When I can’t afford to go to a studio, or my schedule doesn’t allow me the time, or maybe I’m just not feeling like being around other people but still want to do yoga.  I love that the option is always there to practice at home if I chose to.

So what do you prefer?  What have been your experiences with home practice vs. studio classes (or even classes at the gym, which have a totally different list of pros and cons!)?  If you are new to yoga or have never tried, which do you think you would feel more comfortable doing?

Whether you are getting on your mat in your living room or at your favorite studio. . . . keep it up!  Namaste 🙂